Return to Brokeback Mountain

If you haven’t seen my original take on Brokeback Mountain, it’s here. As you might have inferred, I didn’t have a burning, yearning desire to go see the movie. Sure, there was the curiosity factor, but if it hadn’t been for my wife’s desire to check it out, I probably wouldn’t have gotten around to renting the DVD for quite some time. But, with this weekend having been a typical Jersey spring-time weekend, filled with rain, wind, and chilly weather, it was the perfect opportunity to catch up on movies, and Brokeback made the short list. (By the way, consider this a spoiler alert. I’m going to discuss the plot and storylines a bit, so keep that in mind if you haven’t seen it yet.)

First reaction: it’s not a bad movie. It’s actually pretty good, with a decent story. But it’s only that – a decent story. It’s not overly profound, nor is it any more moving than any other love story, and not as moving as some I've seen. It is a nice little tale about two people who want to be together but are kept apart by circumstances. However, the only thing “ground-breaking” about it is the fact that it features two men in the lead roles, instead of a man and a woman. Had it been a man and a woman in the leads, it would have been a fairly formulaic “love story” about two people who want to be together but cannot be. Think Bridges of Madison County crossed with Same Time Next Year and replace the female lead with Jake Gyllenhaal, and you’ve got Brokeback Mountain. Seriously – that’s the movie.

Don’t get me wrong. Brokeback is certainly very well acted. Heath Ledger was extraordinary in the role of Ennis Del Mar, and both he and Gyllenhaal had to really get into their roles to sell the male-on-male aspect of the story. But they did it, they did it well (at least as far as I could tell), and, for me, they did sell me on the belief that they were attracted to each other. To me, that’s the sign of great acting in a good – not great -- movie.

Oh, I understand the social significance of the movie. It’s supposedly the first “mainstream” movie with gay characters in the leads, and it shows that “real” love transcends both gender and social “norms.” How “mainstream” the movie is remains an open question (which I addressed in my previous post on Brokeback). I also question how truly “significant” the movie is in this day and age. From Ellen Degeneris coming out on her sitcom and now hosting her own highly regarded talk show, to Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, to Will and Grace, people not only recognize that there are gay people in the world today, but also that gay and lesbian folks actually have lives and relationships, fall in love, adopt children, and lead fulfilling and influential lives. Moreover, those that don’t realize that now, or refuse to recognize it, aren’t going to be converted by a movie like Brokeback, primarily because they’ll never see it.

On top of that, it does occur to me that Brokeback is not really a “gay” movie at all. It’s a movie about a unique relationship between two unique people defined by its time and circumstances. To be sure, Gyllenhaal’s Jack Twist is without question gay, covering his orientation with a marriage of convenience. However, I’m not certain that you can characterize Ledger’s Ennis as “gay.” Sure, he jumps on Jack Twist up on the mountain (with surprisingly little provocation and virtually no chemistry that I could see), but as far as I can tell, Jack is the only male that Ennis is interested in in his entire life. Unlike Jack, we don’t see Ennis going after, talking with, or pursuing any other male in the movie – ever. He doesn’t seem interested in any other man, and based on his father’s “lesson” while Ennis was young, it seems that Ennis was repulsed by the idea of any other man. Ennis got married, had kids, and seemed to want to make it work with Alma. Ennis is curious, conflicted, and confused, but only with respect to Jack. I don’t see Ennis as “gay” so much as he is interested in Jack, and Jack alone. Of course, that’s just my purely heterosexual perspective on things. I’m sure others will have a different take.

Finally, as to all of the hoopla about how Brokeback got cheated out of the Best Picture Oscar in favor of Crash, the “Best Picture” is purely a subjective thing, so that’s your answer right there – the Academy made a subjective selection. From my perspective, there is no contest – Crash is a much better movie than Brokeback. Apart from the gay aspect of Brokeback, its plot is otherwise fairly pedestrian. I’ve seen this story before – having a gay backstory doesn’t change the underlying plot. Crash, on the other hand, is more unique and far more difficult to pull of seamlessly. Grand Canyon did something similar years ago, but not nearly as well as Crash. I haven’t seen Capote yet, which was also nominated, but between Crash and Brokeback, it’s not even close.

Overall, I would recommend Brokeback. It’s a good flick, and it’s well done. As long as you go in understanding you’re watching a love story, and expecting a lot of character development and exposition, you’ll enjoy it. Sit back, put your feet up, and indulge.

Gouging Revisited

Can you believe these gas prices? It’s like deja vu all over again. As I’m sure you recall, we’ve been down this road before, most recently right after Katrina last fall. I had a few things to say back then.

Now, it’s more of the same, but this time, the supposed reasons for the increases are even more vague, and the outrage less defined, which means that the oil companies will simply get away with it again. Yeah, I mean the $3 to $4 per gallon gasoline.

Thing is, OPEC today said that there is no shortage. (You have to really look for the fine print in the news stories to pick that one up, by the way, but it’s there.) The media says that the skyrocketing prices are due to some vague, ambiguous, and undefined fears related to the continuing situation in Iran, and the continuing unrest in Iraq, and the continuing situation in the Middle East, and blah-dee-blah. What’s all that mean? It means that there is no real basis for these prices. It’s a manufactured situation that just happens to coincide with the summer driving season, when oil consumption in the US goes up as more people drive, fly and otherwise travel to their vacation destinations.

Don’t you get the feeling that last fall was just a test run by the oil companies? They took advantage of the situation created by Katrina to see what they could get away with as far as gas prices were concerned. Gas prices hovered in the $3 to $4 range for a month or so, and guess what? People kept buying it because they had to. Now, those prices don’t seem so outrageous because we’ve already faced them. The winter time lull was just temporary. Now that Big Oil knows we’ll keep paying, they can charge what they want to because they know they can get away with it.

Actually, the fact is that, apart from the world unrest that’s been blamed for the price jumps, Big Oil has chosen this time to voluntarily undertake a change in how they produce and blend gasoline. Not to get too technical, but MTBE is an additive that oil refineries had been using in their gasolines. Now, all of the refineries – all of them – just coincidentally decided, at the same time, to voluntarily stop using MTBE in favor of ethanol. MTBE has been linked to groundwater pollution; ethanol has not. Now, Congress has not mandated this change, nor is there any reason to make the change. But, in order to use ethanol, you have to have ethanol, and guess what, some reports suggest that there is not enough ethanol to go around.

Now, regardless of whether that fact is true or not, the mere suggestion that there’s not enough ethanol to go around is enough to spur unrest in the powers that trade in commodities like oil. Throw a little fear into the law of supply and demand – like there might not be enough supply – and you get to where we are now. If folks believe that there’s not enough ethanol to mix with the gasoline, there won’t be enough gasoline. Speculators will then drive the price of oil up, and we all pay. And you can trace that all back to Big Oil because it elected to make the change to ethanol, it elected to do so at this most opportune time (for Big Oil), and it elected to do it without ensuring that there was enough ethanol to meet the need. (By the way, the ethanol producers say it’s not their fault and that there is plenty of ethanol, as you can see here.)

Oh, one more thing about ethanol, which adds to the problem of ensuring that there’s enough to go around. Ethanol is generally not transported via pipeline. Why? Well, the primary reason is that ethanol absorbs waters and impurities that can be find in standard pipelines. See, water and rust particles exist in pipelines generally used to transport gasoline. Gasoline traveling the pipeline by itself won’t ordinarily pick up the water and the particles in it because of the chemical composition of the gasoline. However, when you blend gasoline and ethanol, the chemical reaction of the blend creates a “scouring” action within the pipeline that can pick up the water and particles in the water, thus creating dirty fuel that will reduce engine performance. Betcha didn’t know that, did you? But you know who did? Big Oil. (I mean, if I can find it out in 10 minutes on the internet, I’m guessing Big Oil might have had an inkling, don’t you think?) This is a fascinating little piece about the problems in transporting ethanol blends, in case you’re interested.

What does all that mean? Well, before you transport ethanol blended fuel, you’ve either got to clean the pipeline, or transport by tanker truck. And guess what? Each method takes time, and if it takes a day or two longer than expected, the result is: no fuel to certain areas. That’s one of the reasons you’re hearing about spot shortages in places here and there. They’ve got to transport the new blend of gasoline – the blend that no one made Big Oil undertake – to places that used to receive MTBE blends. Human nature being what it is, once word of some spot shortages occur, people panic, and panic buying occurs, either in the commodity markets, or in your local gas station.

I’m still thrashing about for something meaningful and effective that I could do to resolve this situation, or expose it for the sham it is, but I got nothing. That’s a very frustrating feeling, because I like to believe that the good guys can win battles like this. But things like the internet “boycotts” suggested by some good-hearted but unrealistic folks are only a blip on the radar. The reality is, we’ve all got to drive, and after a one- or two-day boycott, we’ve got to start buying gas again.

I figure the controls have to come from the top and, much as I hate to call for government intervention, perhaps some sort of temporary federally mandated cap on prices is in order (especially since the feds certainly aren’t pushing for any other meaningful resolution or alternative energy sources). We certainly can’t trust Big Oil to police itself, and there aren’t any other realistic alternatives that I can see. But I’m always open to suggestion.

Walt Disney World: Day Seven -- Homeward Bound

Friday finally was upon us, and with it, the realization that we had no days left on our Park Hopper Passes. Bummer. But, I guess we were ready to go home. Even though we could have stayed longer, it felt as if it was time to go.

We did have one more Disney stop to make, though. We had to pick up a few last minute things in Downtown Disney. We wanted a few small things for family and friends, and we also wanted some t-shirts and . . .well, stuff. . . for ourselves.

I’d been debating about a Grumpy Football Jersey I’d seen in the Team Mickey store (which is a sporting goods store that blends Mickey and ESPN in a very interesting mix of clothing and accessories). It really was a sharp Jersey – but I’m still frugal to a fault. I finally decided that I couldn’t justify the $59 price tag for a jersey I knew would hang in the closet for 99% of the time. However, I did find a hooded Grumpy sweatshirt at the Disney store for about $5 less, that I could justify because I wear this kind of sweatshirt all of the time. (I know – I’m a little crazy on the topic of spending, but it’s just the way I am.)

Anyway, after about an hour, we made our final purchases and checked out. Sweatshirts, cups, hats, t-shirts, and other assorted things. Yeah, we're definitely tourists! Back at the car, we had no problem integrating everything into our bags. It was then off to Thrifty to return our car.

The return was absolutely seamless, as was the trip back to the airport. Even at the airport, things went smoothly, although the JetBlue counters were far busier on this Friday afternoon than they had been on the Saturday morning when we’d left the week before.

We had no difficulty checking both of the rifles Jake had purchased. We’d asked for a big box when we got the first one in the Magic Kingdom, and both rifles Jake got fit into the one box. The airline then taped it up, tagged it, and checked it through, and I’m happy to say they arrived in one piece and continue to be used today.

Everything else went smoothly as well. Baggage claim, no problem. I’d called for the van from the off-site parking while still on the plane and, even though we had about a 15 minute wait, they came and got us and took us back to the off-site facility, where I paid our tab while Sue and Jake got into our warmed-up-and-ready-to-go car. (And how sweet that was on a cold January evening!)

Overall, Disney World is a wonderful vacation that I recommend whole-heartedly. I’ve tried to sprinkle tips and ideas throughout the experiences I detail in each of the days I wrote about, but to sum up briefly, here’s a couple tips that are invaluable:

1) Travel during Disney’s low season. Ideally, go between Thanksgiving and the week before Christmas, or from about January 5 through February 10 (leaving out Martin Luther King, Jr. Day weekend). The lines are generally short, the hotel and airfare prices are down, and you can often get same-day reservations, especially at lunch, at some of the busiest restaraunts.

2) Use the Fast Pass option to minimize wait times. Even during the low season, you’ll still have an occasional line (like on Soarin’ or Everest). The Fast Pass gives you the option to do other things, and the shorter line is usually significantly shorter.

3) Take advantage of the Disney Photo Pass, and get the $99 CD to get some good quality pictures. It’s a good investment.

4) Buying your park passes online from Disney saves you money. They’ll mail the tickets to you in plenty of time for the trip. The Park Hopper option is worth the money, especially if you like to jump around, as we do. You don’t need it, but it’s nice to have.

5) Don't overplan. By that, I mean, leave things a little loose, like meals and park arrival time, so that you don't put too much pressure on yourself. If you feel compelled to get to the park the moment they open the gates, and to a lunch reservation, and to a dinner reservation, and to the closing show by a specific time every single day, you'll be putting pressure on yourself that may spoil your trip. Enjoy! Take your time! It's a fun place! Savor it! The only time critical things are the Kilimanjaro Safari ride (if you want to see the animals, you have to ride it either early or late) and the end-of-day shows at Epcot, MGM, and Magic Kingdom. Other than that, have fun!

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and all of the other pages. Your comments here, and on every page, are welcome, and I’ll be happy to respond to any questions as well.

Have fun, and get yourself to Orlando!

Walt Disney World: Day Six -- Giving the Park-Hopper Option a Work-Out

Last Day. I couldn’t help but sigh as I woke up on Thursday. Sure, we still had a full day at the World. But it was the last one. Still, I was very excited as we approached MGM, even if it was for the last time this trip.

As I mentioned, on Tuesday, the Disney reservations folks had re-scheduled our lunch at the Sci-Fi Drive-In for Thursday, so we figured we’d start the day at MGM, eat lunch, then head over to Epcot to hit the Pavilions in the World Showcase that we’d missed. After that, I had noticed that they were doing the Spectro-Magic parade on Thursday evenings at the Magic Kingdom at 7:00, followed by the fireworks at 8:00. It sounded like a good itinerary to me!

First things first at MGM. Sue and I wanted to do the Rock ‘n’ Roller coaster one more time, so we headed down Sunset once again. As we walked, Sue and I gently raised the prospect of – perhaps – trying the Tower of Terror together, with Jake. Jake kept telling us that he didn’t “think so,” but I could tell that, inside, he was trying to talk himself into it. So, as we walked through the line at the Coaster, we said he could do the exact same thing at the Tower: walk through the line, and then, if he changed his mind, bail out at the end. We also drew some comparison between the Tower and a similar – though far smaller – dropping ride he’d tried on the Boardwalk in Point Pleasant. By the time Sue and I got through the coaster again, Jake was about three-quarters convinced that he would at least do the line for the Tower.

Well, the Coaster was tremendous – again. It is such a great ride! We could have done it a few more times, and would have, if Jake was interested in riding it with us. But we didn’t like making him wait, so after the ride, we wandered in the general direction of the Tower. And – lo and behold – Jake said he’d do the line with us. So in we went.

As I mentioned before, they do a great job setting the ride up, and make it especially eerie for a ten-year-old who’s still not convinced he should be doing this. Jake was like a frayed nerve ending, all jittery and jumpy by the time we got to the “basement” of the hotel, where they load the ride, and I could see that he was torn. He really wanted to try the Tower – and he also wanted to run screaming from the place – all at the same time.

The “basement” of the hotel has some very real-looking boilers chugging away near the freight elevators, where the cars in which you ride are located. There is definitely an ominous feeling in the basement as you wind your way through. To his credit, Jake was very brave. We got to the loading area for our car, and Jake was just about ready to ask to step out, but something kept him in line, and we boarded together. (I should point out that Sue was not really looking forward to this ride either, but she was doing it so that Jake would do it. She was not at all sure she wanted any part of the “dropping and falling” thing. But she didn’t even bat an eye as we walked through the line.)

We had seats in the back row, and as we listened to the instructions and belted ourselves in, Jake finally cracked. “I think I want to change my mind,” he said. Sue and I looked at each other, then at him, and said, “Sorry buddy, but it’s too late now.” He gritted his teeth and settled in, clamping his hand on my forearm.

We went through the build up, as the elevator raised up through the floors. Then, at the top, as the windows open, and the car drops, I heard Sue scream “This is AWESOME!” and I felt Jake’s grip tighten on my arm. My stomach finally caught up with the rest of my body, and I looked down at Jake, his entire face squeezed shut at the thrill, and the fear, and the fun, and it really was awesome!

We finally came to rest, and Sue and I couldn’t have been more proud. Seriously. This was a huge thing for Jake and he really overcame his fear by riding a ride he really, really, really didn’t want to ride. It was good for him, and we were so glad that he’d done it. As his reward, he got a Tower of Terror t-shirt, which he still wears proudly to school about twice a month.

After recovering from the Tower, we wandered up and down the streets, visiting some shops, and taking in some of the sights that are unique to MGM. For instance, we got a great shot of Jake standing in San Francisco.



We also got a shot of me, making like Gene Kelly.




And we got Sue and Jake standing on a New York-ish street corner. (Check out the store name!)




It was a great morning at MGM, capped by a very tasty lunch at the Sci Fi. If you haven’t been there, make sure that you go. While you can request table service (and you should if you want to face your dining companions), most of the fun comes from sitting in a mock up of a 1950s sedan, pulled in at a drive in theater. Everyone faces the screen, where you can see trailers from a couple dozen “B” and “C” movies that you’ve probably never heard of while you order and eat your food. Mixed in with the trailers are those famous “Intermission” clips that anyone over 40 used to see at the drive in between reels. I actually remembered having seen some of those from my drive in days as a kid.





The food itself is good; plentiful, basic, and well prepared. No, it’s not gourmet by any stretch – but it’s precisely what you expect, and it’s not unreasonably priced, considering where you are and all. The Sci Fi Drive-In is well worth a stop.

After lunch, we knew the time had come to say good-bye to MGM. We wanted to get to Epcot, both to visit the pavilions we’d missed, but also so that we could get our photo CD. (This is the CD of all of the photos that the Disney photographers took of us at various locations during the day. Check out my explanation of this tip on Day Two: Magic Kingdom, if you missed it.)

When we got to Epcot (at about 3:00, and we parked right in row 2!), we walked right up to the Kodak Photo Kiosk, on the left side of the big golf ball. They were very nice, and very accommodating and, as I mentioned, it’s well worth your while to get your Disney Photo Pass photos done here. We then headed out to hit some things we’d missed.

Things like “Honey, I Shrunk the Audience,” which is the 3D movie for Epcot. As I’ve mentioned a couple of times elsewhere, the best 3D movie in Walt Disney World is Mickey’s Philharmagic, in the Magic Kingdom. I’d say this one is the worst. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it’s not horrible. But after seeing the other three, there was nothing new here. On top of that, it felt dated and tired to me. If you have to skip one 3D movie, this is the one to skip. (My gut tells me that this movie may not be long for the World, but I’m just speculating here.)

We then took the path around the World Showcase Lagoon, starting in Canada. We visited each of the Pavilions in turn, mostly just to check them out, but also, to help Jake complete a collection he’d started towards the end of Wednesday. He’d discovered that they have “pressed penny” machines all over Disney World. (The “pressed penny” machine takes your penny – along with two of your quarters – feeds the penny into a press and imprints a design of some sort by flattening the penny with a “die” bearing that imprint. You’ve probably seen them at various tourist attractions and rest stops around the country.)

Well, as you might expect, Disney’s pressed penny machines are more than just pressed penny machines. Each machine imprints only certain images on your pressed penny. For instance, the machine in the train station in the Animal Kingdom has one set of designs, while other machines have others. Each of the world pavilions in Epcot has its own unique machine, with unique, country-specific designs in each machine. Somewhere along the line, Jake decided he liked these pressed pennies, so we began looking for machines so he could collect them. It was actually kind of fun looking for the machines. We not only got to explore all the nooks and crannies of the various pavilions, but we got Jake some unique – and inexpensive – souvenirs from each country. (Not surprisingly, they carry pressed penny collection books in the gift shops – just so you know.)

Anyway, not only did we hit Morocco, France, England, Canada, and Japan, which we’d skipped before, but we went back and hit the other pavilions so that we could collect pennies. (By the way, if you’re collecting the pennies, you won’t find a penny presser in either China or Japan, for reasons that we never learned. However, the penny presser with the Japan theme is in the gift shop in Showcase Plaza, and the China penny presser is over in the International Gateway (which we never got to)). As we cruised through, we heard a Beatles sound-alike band wrapping up a live show in England, picked up some neat things in Japan, and just had a great time strolling around the world on our last afternoon at Epcot.

We spent about two hours strolling, until about six o’clock. We knew that we should leave about then if we wanted to catch the SpectroMagic parade at 7:00. So, we reluctantly took our last look around as we trudged towards the exit. We’d had such a good time, and we were all sad to go, but we still had more to see.

We hopped into the car and headed back towards the Magic Kingdom. I was actually very happy that we were finishing where we’d started this trip. The Magic Kingdom had been so much fun on the first day, I wanted to catch the spirit of the place one more time before we left. I also really wanted to see the fireworks one more time.

We were able to get parking right up near the transportation center, then hopped the monorail into the park once again. We hit Main Street USA at about 6:45 and found room to stand right in front of Tony’s (where we’d taken our first picture of Jake on the trip!) We met a nice young family and chatted while we waited for the parade to start.

The parade itself was very cool. It was the first time I’d seen it, and it is truly amazing how many different ways they light things up. (I know that lighting things up creatively doesn’t sound very impressive, but it is. You have to see it to get it.) I will concede, however, that the parade is a wee bit long. I could have done with about three fewer floats. But otherwise, I was glad we went.

We next did a little shopping along Main Street, something we hadn’t done on Sunday. We took the time to explore the wide variety of Mickified things, which seems endless. Jake wound up getting a neat bobblehead doll of Mickey in a 1930s era football uniform for his dresser. We also looked at, but finally rejected, about 400 different Disney World hats and t-shirts as we worked our way up Main Street towards Cinderella’s Castle and the fireworks. (We were looking for the “perfect” shirt and hat.)

We finally reached the end of the shops, and settled in for the fireworks, just before 8:00 p.m. The show was once again spectacular, only this time, either I blinked and missed her, or there was no Tinkerbell flying into the trees. (Maybe they only do that on weekends?)

At the end of the fireworks, we strolled slowly back down Main Street, taking in the sights and the sounds for one last time. We talked about how special the whole trip was, and what our favorite things had been, and we made sure to notice all of the details of the shops, and the people, and the characters, as we strolled out.

As we passed underneath the train station, towards the gate, I thought I heard Mickey’s voice from above and behind us somewhere. We turned around and there he was: Mickey was standing on the platform above us, saying thank you to everyone for coming, and waving goodbye. It was a really nice touch to our last day.




From here, we headed back to the car. In all the rushing around, we hadn’t taken time to eat dinner yet. As we climbed into the car, we debated about the possibilities – back to Epcot and a shot at something late there? One of the local chains? There was a Buffalo Wild Wings near the hotel. But we finally decided that we were just too beat to stay out any longer, so we settled on the McDonald’s drive-thru near the hotel. We bought some combo meals, headed back to the hotel, and chowed down on some fast food as we unwound. Perhaps it wasn’t the most traditional of final Disney meals, but it was exactly what we needed after five very full days in the park.

Walt Disney World: Day Five -- Animal Kingdom

Kilimanjaro Safaris. Every book I’d read, and every person we met, said that you’ve got to do the Safari ride first thing in the morning because the animals tend to go into hiding later in the day. (They’re apparently smart enough to avoid the midday heat in Florida.) And the Safari ride was the entire point of Animal Kingdom (at least for us). So, the Safari was our primary goal for Wednesday morning.

Our early evening Tuesday made it easy to get going on Wednesday, and we were at the Animal Kingdom parking lot by 8:30. They opened the gates right around then (about a half-hour early), but we couldn't get right in because I was having ticket problems. The electronic ticket reader wasn’t reading my plastic ticket. Sue and Jake got in no problem, but the machine kept rejecting my ticket. After two or three tries, the Cast Member on the gate sent me over to Guest Relations to sort out what was wrong.

Now, we’d had a pretty smooth trip up to that point, but I found myself getting agitated anyway. The one morning where we actually wanted to be in the park right at 9:00, and that’s the morning I have ticket problems. But, to their credit, the folks in Guest Relations were very helpful, very friendly and, most importantly, very efficient, all of which served to quell my agitation. The gentleman behind the counter scanned my ticket and the computer had no problem with it. He said the main computer was reading it, and it showed that I had two more days on it. He did advise that if I had any other problems with it, I should get a replacement from Guest Relations. He cleared me in less than five minutes, so we were off towards Africa and the Safari.

We got through the Oasis area, just inside the gates, and crossed the first major bridge. Right in front of us, we saw the Tree of Life, the iconic center of the Animal Kingdom park. It is quite impressive (more on that later).




As usual, Disney had the early entry under complete (but gentle) control. Just before Discovery Island, where the Tree is located, they had everyone blocked off by Cast Members and ropes (because the park had not yet “officially” opened). So, we milled about for a bit. At precisely 8:55, a Jeep rolled out, with Minnie, Goofy and Pluto, all dressed in jungle khakis, aboard. They greeted us, wished us a “wild” day in the park, and then finally let us in.

We strode briskly along the path toward Africa and, although we were moving quickly, I couldn’t help but notice the detail with which the Disney folks had recreated what an African town looks like (or at least what is what we would expect it should look like). There were representatives from various African tribes, performing traditional African dances and music, along the streets and in the building. The buildings themselves couldn’t look more authentic, and the detail is amazing. As spot-on as the pavilions are in the World Showcase at Epcot, Disney’s rendition of Africa is Epcot's equal.

We found our way to the Safari and had no more than a five minute wait to get into a land rover and venture across Disney’s African savannah. It is an amazing ride, actually. It’s not like any safari park you’ve ever been to. You’re as close to on-top-of the animals as you can be this side of the Atlantic.




Oh, sure, you’ve got to deal with a kind of hokey “chase-the-poachers” back-story while on the ride, which you really don’t need. With such amazing animals to view, the thrill in seeing them is very real. You don’t need to manufacture thrills by chasing imaginary poachers. But that’s just me.

The ride itself is about 15 minutes, and you really do see everything: elephants, lions, impalas, giraffes, hippos; you name it, you’ll probably see it. It was a great ride and, if you’re interested in wildlife like this at all, you don’t want to miss this one.

Equally wonderful is the Pangani Forest Trail, which is a walking trail that you can catch right after the Safari ride. This walking tour is along protected paths (that don’t appear protected at all) that wind through the “jungle. You don’t actually run the risk of being mauled as you stroll along, but the feeling of the trail is open and close to the animals. And you do see some amazing animals, the coolest of which are the troops of gorillas. If you take your time and linger by the windows, you’ll see the gorillas wandering around, congregating, playing, and traveling over the hills.




In addition, there are also some amazing birds, some meercats, and an area where you are supposed to be able to see hippos (although I didn’t see any here). The key here is spending the time to look around for the animals you want to see. Sure you can zip through this area, but you’ll miss a lot if you do. The Pangani is worth a nice, leisurely visit.

Not so Rafiki’s Planet Watch, at least in my opinion. There’s nothing really wrong with it, but it’s not terribly exciting. In addition, it’s difficult to get to because the only way to Planet Watch is the Wildlife Express train that runs from the end of the Pangani Trail and connects to the Planet Watch area. You can’t get to it or leave it any other way, so if you want to leave, you’ve stuck until the next train. In addition, depending on how many people are there, you could be in for a very long wait. Don’t get me wrong; there’s a cute little petting zoo, but there’s nothing in the petting zoo that you wouldn’t find in any city zoo in the country. There’s some information about conservation, and animals, and their habitats. There is also a presentation by some of the Cast Members stationed here expressly to work with the animals. However, unless you (or your kids) are really into the animals, I wouldn’t recommend Planet Watch, or its train ride. It’s just too much of a hassle to get into and out of the Planet Watch area to take the time to do it.

When we finally got “back” to Africa, we headed down to Camp Minnie-Mickey. This area is one of two sections of the Animal Kingdom that I don’t really get. (The other is DinoLand USA, which I’ll get to in a minute.) I don’t get them because they seem as if they’ve been shoe-horned into the Animal Kingdom as filler, rather than as part of the overall theme. For instance, Camp Minnie-Mickey is described in the Disney Guide as an “Adirondack Mountain Retreat” (as in "summer camp"). But there’s really nothing here, except a show pavilion, and several small character areas where you can meet and greet whichever characters show up. But animal stuff? In the Adirondacks? They could have called it the Animal Kingdom show area, because that’s really what they use it for. But I guess someone thought that an Adirondack Retreat fit the theme.

Anyway, we headed over towards Camp Minnie-Mickey to see the Festival of the Lion King. Before we got there, though, we crossed the bridge between Africa and Discovery Island, where we caught a spectacular view of Expedition Everest. When we visited, Everest was still a week away from its “soft open.” But at least we saw the mountain. I’ve heard that the ride is wonderful. If the ride is half as amazing as the view of the mountain, it’s gotta be great!

As for the Festival of the Lion King, it’s a fun show, and especially so for the younger kids in your group. It is, of course, based on the music from the Lion King, and the actors, and dancers, and characters are all energetic and engaging. It was a lot of fun to watch, and the kids won’t be bored. (The other show in Camp Minnie-Mickey is Pocahontas and Her Forest Friends, which we didn’t see. This seemed themed for much younger kids, which is why we skipped it.) Overall, the Festival is a good experience, and worth your time.

After the Festival, it was time for lunch, so we headed towards the Rainforest Café, where we had 1:00 p.m. reservations. Now, as I’m sure you know, the Rainforest is a national chain that is not associated with Disney. Before I got to the Rainforest, I thought that it was a natural match with the Animal Kingdom. But going to the Rainforest right out of Disney is like going from the sublime to the ridiculous. Now, we all know we’re not really visiting Africa, or Asia, when we visit the Animal Kingdom, but the Disney folks are such masters of their craft that they make it seem so real, you can actually find yourself believing (if only a little bit) that you’re actually in Africa. The Rainforest Café – not so much. It’s cheesy, artificial, and a vivid exercise in trying too hard. Disney is subtle and earnest. The Rainforest is like an out-of-tune brass band. Disney Cast Members are friendly and dedicated. Rainforest workers are simply employees.

In addition, while the food at the Rainforest is good, it's way too plentiful. By that, I mean that the portions are humongous – Cheesecake Factory humongous. This is actually a detriment, and left me with bad feelings about the place, for a number of reasons. We had no idea how big their portions were, so we ordered appetizers and meals. The waitress could have said that you won’t need both (which happens in many places), but she didn’t do that. Instead, she advised us to order a sampler platter so we could try all of the appetizers in addition to our meals. That was completely unnecessary and, as a result, we had a lot of leftovers that simply went to waste because we had no place to put them. Even worse, we were over-stuffed for our afternoon, which meant for an uncomfortable couple of hours of trying to walk off the effects of our meal.

Anyway, the meal was okay, but we left feeling bloated and sleepy. As a result, we wandered over to the Tree of Life primarily so we could find a place to sit and digest. We wound up heading into the Tree, where they show “It’s Tough to be a Bug,” the 3D movie at the Animal Kingdom. This is a pretty good movie, too, and I place it as the second best movie at Disney World. But it doesn’t come close to Mickey’s Philharmagic, which is head-and-shoulder better than the other three 3D movies combined. But Bug is good, fun, entertaining, and with a few cool surprises, so make sure you sit up and pay attention!

Also, the Tree itself is an amazing structure. On your way in, and on your way out, make sure you study the Tree carefully. You’ll see a wide variety of animals carved into the trunk of the tree, all the way up the tree to the top. It’s really amazing to see. This Tree is a prime example of the workmanship and craftsmanship of the Disney Imagineers, and I recommend savoring it.




From the Tree, we wandered along the road bordering the Discovery River, towards Asia. Mount Everest was a nice little landmark, and we were able to get a relatively close up view of the Mountain as we walked.

The walk along the Discovery River was nice, too, because we had the chance to see the different style between Disney’s Asia and Disney’s Africa. As always, Disney’s attention to detail is remarkable. It truly felt as if we were walking through somewhere in Southeast Asia, with every detail, right down to the bicycles parked in front of the faux-train station, being absolutely perfect.

We were not, however, as impressed with Asia as we’d been with Africa. It may have been a combination of still being over-stuffed from lunch. Maybe it was the heat, because the temperature did begin to climb into the low seventies that day. Maybe we were just tired of animals. But we didn’t like Asia all that much.

Oh, there were some nice attractions, don’t get me wrong. We did the Maharaja Jungle Trek, which is another protected walking tour, and was pretty impressive. We saw tigers up close and personal, and more fruit bats than I ever knew existed in the world. There were more exotic birds, and some of those Kimono dragons, too. But about half-way through, we were kind of animal-ed out.

We didn’t do the Kali River Rapids. Although it was getting warmer, it was still only about 72 degrees, and with night coming early in January, we didn’t want to be walking around in damp clothes for the next few hours, and from all indications, you do get wet on the River Rapids. Oh, it looks like fun, but, just like Splash Mountain, we just didn’t feel like getting wet. As a result, after the Jungle Trek, and without the Rapids, there’s not a heckuva lot more to do in Asia. (Of course, now with Everest open, there’s a very BIG reason to visit Asia, but even considering that, there’s not a lot.)

The only thing we had left on our map was DinoLand, USA. This is the other part of the park that I just don’t get. The guide map trumpets it as a celebration of our “fascination with dinosaurs.” But the truth is, it reminds me of every kitschy road-side attraction and stretch of the boardwalk in Point Pleasant, New Jersey, that I’ve ever been to. There are game booths (that are not free) and food stands (also not free) and the classic carnival games (from basketball shooting to water gun races, also not free). Unlike most of Disney World, this section of the park has a definite been-there-done-that feel to it.

Like everywhere else, though, there were some things that were fun, despite the well-worn feeling of the whole area. The Tarzan Rocks Show sounded good, but we learned after we arrived that it had completed its last performance the Saturday before we got there. Bad timing on our part, because the show sounded pretty good. (Still haven’t figured out why it would be in DinoLand, but that’s another question for another day.)

The Primeval Whirl is a neat little roller coaster, very much like the Mouse you find on many Boardwalks and in many State Fairs around the country (that mini roller coaster, with four-person cars on a two-story tall track). The twist is that the cars actually rotate on an axis as they travel around the track. Unfortunately for us, in our overstuffed states, we didn’t want to take a chance on a whirling, spinning, uppy-down type of ride. So, we had to pass. But if you like coasters, it looks like a fun one.

We did ride the DINOSAUR ride, which is one of the traditional Disney-esque conveyance-on-a-track-through-a-dark-space rides. The twist on this one is that you’re in a pretty realistic seeming Land Rover, you move along at a pretty good clip, and the dinosaurs are kinda scary-ish. It’s a nice little ride, which must get busy at times because it’s set up for the fast pass. (We didn’t need it, though. Our wait was five minutes.)

There are a couple other carnival rides, which you’ve seen before, and a play area called the boneyard, which is, essentially, a dinosaur graveyard – for the kids. (This is another weird idea that I don’t quite get). The bottom line here is that DinoLand is a well-worn concept, that, surprisingly, falls well below Disney’s standards. If you feel pressed for time, in my opinion, this is the one section of all of the parks that you can skip without feeling as if you missed anything.

After completing our visit to DinoLand, we wanted to head back to Africa, because we’d seen some souvenirs we wanted to buy. However, we had to hustle, because it was 4:00 pm, and the Animal Kingdom closes at 5:00.

We would have made it in plenty of time, if not for Mickey’s Jammin’ Jungle Parade, which started promptly at – you guessed it – 4:00 p.m. We were able to get to Africa. However, we couldn’t cross the street to get into the shop we wanted to visit. (I know – I asked if we could sneak through a gap in the parade. Apparently, cutting through the parade practice frowned upon by the powers that be. Who knew?)

Anyway, we did discover that if you want to see the Parade, you don’t have to grab seats on Discovery Island, or anywhere else, because the parade loops around and ends where it started. So if you wait until after the parade starts, and clears out of Africa, you’ll have your choice of seats, either by the Tusker House, or the Dawa Bar, or the Kusafiri Coffee shop, at about 4:20 to 4:30. At about that time, the Parade comes right back through Africa before it breaks up. We got some great close up photos (all taken by Jake!), and it was actually a nice way to finish our stay at Animal Kingdom. Well, that, and shopping.



The shopping was kinda neat, if you like the African motif. (We do.) They have some nice things in the shops in Africa and (here’s another tip) they are less expensive than those at the little Outpost in Epcot that’s between Germany and China.

From here, with the park beginning to close down, we wandered towards the exit. On the way out, we found Baloo, from Jungle Book, signing autographs and posing for pictures. Jake was more than happy to add Baloo to his book.

All in all, it was an enjoyable day at Animal Kingdom. However, much as we liked the park, I can honestly tell you that, if you are at Disney World and can only see three parks, this is the one to skip. It’s nice and all, and there are some special moments here as well as some amazing things to see. BUT: in my opinion, you can skip it if you’re pressed for time. Now, keep in mind – I’m writing this without having experienced either the River Rapids ride, or the new Everest ride. If you’re a ride-a-holic, and have to hit all the big rides, you obviously have to come to Animal Kingdom now, especially in light of Everest. But, if the rides aren’t the be-all-and-end-all for you, and you’re heart’s not set on seeing the animals, the Animal Kingdom is skipable.

After finishing the Kingdom, it was only 5:30. We decided to head back to the hotel for a little break before returning to Epcot to catch the Illuminations show. Because we didn’t have dinner reservations, we also decided to grab a quick dinner at Sunshine Seasons, in The Land. Our thought was to combine dinner with another ride on Soarin’ before settling in for Illuminations, which is exactly what we did.

We arrived at Epcot at about 7:15 and headed for the Land. The wait for Soarin’ was over 90 minutes, so we got Fast Passes, which gave us a window between 8:15 and 9:00. (Well, we tried to get Fast Passes. Sue and Jake got theirs, but my ticket started acting up again. I’d gotten into Epcot with no problem, but the Fast Pass machine wouldn’t read it. Fortunately, the Cast Member on duty gave me a Fast Pass before shutting down the machine for the night.) We thus had an hour before we could ride. We used that hour to enjoy a leisurely meal at Sunshine Seasons.

The food at Seasons was adequate, although a bit pricey for the type and quality. It’s cafeteria fare, which was generally simple but largely satisfying. We lingered over our food for a while as we waited for our Fast Pass time and just enjoyed the fact that we were hanging out in Disney World. It was a very pleasant meal.

At 8:15, we hit the Fast Pass line (with the wait in the regular line still being 90 minutes). After a five minute wait, we were on the ride once again. It was just as great the third time!

We then sauntered out to the World Showcase Lagoon and squeezed in along the fence just before Canada. We staked out a position between a couple of families stationed along the fence just before you get to Canada and waited for the show.

Illuminations itself is an amazing show, and the choreography of lights, lasers, and explosions is very impressive. Words cannot adequately describe the show; "amazing" barely scratches the surface. A lot of folks were saying that this was their third time at Illuminations on this trip because they loved the show so much. I enjoyed it too, and it is exceptionally well done. However, I wouldn’t rank it above Fantasmic at MGM, or the fireworks at the Magic Kingdom. Illuminations comes in third in my rankings – a strong third, but third nonetheless.

This day also showed us the true benefit of the Hopper option on our admission tickets. We were able to have a full day at Animal Kingdom, take a break, and then dine and enjoy a couple of hours at Epcot. It was a nice day overall.

Speaking of the admission tickets, after the Illuminations show, on the way out of Epcot, I saw that there was no line at Guest Services. I figured that, because we were going to be doing a lot of hopping on our last day, I’d best get my hinky admission ticket squared away.

The folks in guest services were extremely helpful. They replaced my little plastic card with a cardboard ticket like those you get at the ticket booths on the day of admission. The only unfortunate part (for me) was that I was unable to keep my little plastic ticket as a memento. Disney’s accounting folks needed it to justify the swap. So, with a sigh, I gave up my plastic card for an easy-to-use ticket for the next day.

We left the park that night, happily tired, and grateful that we still had one more day left at Disney World. We were looking forward to the next day, when we planned on hopping all over to do things we wanted to do again, and try a few things we missed.