Concert Manners . . . or is that an oxymoron?

I don't really believe that I'm getting old and crotchety, but I sure do find myself out of sync with the "younger generation" more and more these days. The most recent example -- going to a couple live concerts.

Now, don't get me wrong -- I happen to love music. I love to play it, listen to it, sing it, and, naturally, and I love live concerts. So I get the whole "concert experience." Now, I don't expect everyone to sit quietly in their seats as the singer runs through a few tunes, politely applauding after each little song. You're at a live concert and you get up and dance around, and sing the songs you know, and clap and yell and hoot and holler and just have a good ole time. Then the concert starts.

No, seriously, I get the whole experience. But what I don't get is those folks who go to concerts to become the star of the show themselves.

You know the ones I mean:

1) There's the Chair Stander. When everyone else is standing in front of their seats, the Chair Stander has to stand on his or her seat, making them taller than those around them AND blocking the view of those behind AND making everyone around them nervous that the Chair Stander is going to do a header in some as-yet-unknown direction. (Of course, if you add four or five beers to the Chair Stander, the whole experience becomes ever more interesting.)

2) There's the Arm Raiser. While everyone else is clapping, or dancing, the Arm Raiser has to, of course, raise his or her arms and punch upwards, or outwards, with each beat of the song, usually with a half-full beer glass in the upraised hand. This accomplishes the double goal of blocking the view of those behind AND drenching everyone around in beer spray.

3) There's the Herd. The Herd is a group of folks, usually from the nose-bleed seats, who happen to be friends with someone on the aisle in a lower section. Somehow, the Herd finds a way to circumvent security and take up a position in front of the entire section, blocking passage and views for all who've actually paid for tickets in that section. The Herd doesn't take kindly to friendly requests to move along, and it usually takes an intervention from Security to get the Herd to get back to their seats. (Now don't get me wrong; I don't begrudge anyone the opportunity to stand, and dance with their friends, and enjoy a show. But if you want to watch the show together, get all your tickets together. It's not that hard.)

4) There's the Obnoxiously Loud Off-Key Singer. This fan knows every word to every song and truly believes that he or she is the next rising rock star and belts out every song, in unison, with the main attraction. Except, off-key. And in your ear.

5) There's the Party Animal. I've never understood this one. The Party Animal starts drinking on the tail-gate in the parking lot, keeps drinking on the way into the venue, continues drinking through the opening act, and by the time the main attraction comes out, is either passed out on the seat next to you, or throwing up in the aisle behind you. I don't know about you, but I don't need to pay concert prices to get wasted to the point of oblivion while listening to loud music. I can do that at home for the price of a six pack and a CD.

The common thread through all of these is the apparent lack of any real interest in the performer. Rather, the focus is all on them. "Oooo, look at me! I'm standing on my chair! I'm singing every word of the song! I'm throwing-up on my shoes!" I just don't get that kind of self-centeredness. I'm all for living it up, and having fun. Hell, I'm the worst offender in the world as far as singing along with every song -- but I don't do it in my neighbor's ear, and I shut up if someone asks. It's a matter of simple courtesy. A little consideration goes a long way.